remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize