walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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