he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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