Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
