Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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