she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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