Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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