if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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