you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
