All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I CAN MOONWALK!
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
