We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
