White coat. Heels.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
