You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
