He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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