People in love make me want to vomit
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
