I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
