My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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