Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize