She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
