Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
