I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
