Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize