just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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