Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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