dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
