I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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