So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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