Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
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