whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
