did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
