PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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