She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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