What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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