the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
