Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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