Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
