i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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