The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
only if we run a train.
done.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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