well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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