If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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