Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
