guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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