He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize