I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize