obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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