I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Actions speak louder than pants.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
