He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
