I just pynch a tree in the face
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
