Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
