Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
