You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
