remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
