physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
