Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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