whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
