your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize