It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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