And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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