sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
