wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
