i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
