my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
