sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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