I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
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